Aur jab maine aakhri baar use dekha tha.
Mujhe achhi tarah se yaad hai ke main bhi har lihaaz mein vaisi hi thi .Zindagi ne bachpan ki aakhri seedhi aur jawani ki pehli seedhi par la khada kiya tha. Jism badlaav ke raaste par kaafi pehle nikal chuka tha aur mujhe is baat ka ehsaas karane laga tha ke main bahut jald ek aurat banne wali hoon.
Gudde gudiyon ka khel khatam ho chuka tha aur ladko ko dekhne ka nazariya badal gaya tha.
Pehle ladke "LADKE" hote the. Gande, behuda, badtameez, besharam ladke. Aur ab ladke sirf ladke na rehkar opposite sex ban gaye the. Ladke jinhen dekh kar dil mein kuchh kuchh hone laga tha.
Ajeeb umar thi vo. Bachpana alvida keh raha tha aur jawani ka alhadpan khush-aamdeed. Ek ajeeb sa excitement rehta tha har waqt jiska matlab mujhe khud bhi nahi pata tha. Aur jab maine pehli baar Shahrukh Khan ki DDLJ dekhi toh aankhon mein alhadpan ke saath saath kuchh naye khwaab bhi aa base.
Pehli baar ehsaas hua ke main bhi ek ladki hoon aur kahin koi aisa hai jo mere liye bana hai. Aur is baat ke khyaal bhar se hi dil ki dhadkan tez ho jaati thi ke kahin koi mere haath thaamega, mujhse pyaar karega, mere naaz uthayega, mujhe mananae ke liye gifts lakar dega, mujhse ghanto baaten karega, chhup chhup kar mila karega
aur vo sab kuchh karega jo ki films mein heroes kiya karte hain.
School ke vo aakhri kuchh saal zindagi ke sabse ajeeb saal hote hain. College aur uske baad professional life mein bhi aap bahut logon se milte hain, affairs hote hain, relationships hoti hain par un kuchh saalon ke crush sabse alag hote hain. Vo kehte hain na ke pehla pyaar kabhi bhulaye nahi bhoolta aur yakeen maniye sach kehte
hain. Kyunki shuruat ke un dino ka pyaar sach mein pyaar hi hota hai. Mujhe nahi lagta ke is duniya mein koi bhi aisa hoga jisne un dino mein kisi ko pasand karte waqt ye nahi socha hoga ke yahi vo ladka ya ladki hai jisse vo shaadi karna chahega aur jiske saath zindagi guzarna chahega. Un kuchh saalon ke rishto aur baad mein college aur uske baad banne wale rishto mein yahi farak hota hai. Baad ke rishto ko affairs, time paas, nothing serious, dekhenge jaise lafzon se bulaya jata hai par un dino ke us pehle rishte ko sirf pyaar hi kaha jata hai.
Aur yahi vo din the jab mera jhukaav uski taraf ek alag andaaz mein badha tha.
Shuruati dino ki vo dosti phir bani rahi..
Par phir bhi ham dono saath hi rehte the. Meri saheliyan mujhe aksar is baat ke liye mana karti thi, vahi bachchon wale andaaz mein par main phir usi ke paas pahunch jaati thi. Vo rehta bhi mere ghar ke paas hi tha isliye ham school saath hi aate the aur saath hi jaate the. Aur uske baad ghar aas paas hone ki vajah se kabhi vo mere ghar aa jata ya kabhi main uske ghar pahunch jaati.
Vo mera sabse achha dost tha, my Best Friend.
Mere shareer mein ladkiyon wale badlaav aane shuru ho gaye the. Mahine ke 5 din aise ho gaye the jina mujhe khaas khyaal rakhna padta tha. Shameez ke neeche jism par Bra naam ka ek kapda aur badh gaya tha. Ab bindaas aur bebaak hokar uchhalna koodna band ho gaya tha. Aksar aate jaate logon ki nazren sharam naam ki cheez ka ehsaas karati thi.
Par in sab baaton se alag uske saath mera rishta vaise hi tha jaisa ke 3 saal pehle. Uske saath main aaj bhi vaise hi ladti thi, chhina jhapti karti thi, uske baatl khincha karti thi, use kabhi kabhi thappad maar deti thi aur uske saath ek hi plate mein khana kha leti thi. Waqt jaise uske aur mere rishte ko bina chhue guzar raha tha. Ham jab bhi saath hote, bachche hi hote.
Aur phir maine pehli baar dekhi thi DDLJ.
Usse pehle bhi meri doston ne girlfirend, boyfriend, lover wale concept samjha diye the. Kuchh aisi thi jinke boyfriend ban bhi chuke the aur aisi hi ek ne ye bhi samjha diya tha ke aadmi aur aurat ka jismani rishta kya hota hai, sex kya hota hai, bachche kaise paida hote hain aur kahan se paida hote hain aur ye sab sunkar 2 din tak toh main 24 ghante isi baare mein sochti rahi.
Mujhe yaad hai ke jab maine pehli baar DDLJ dekhi toh ghar aakar agle ek hafte tak sirf ek hi gana sunti rahi thi, "Mere khwabon mein jo aaye". Kajol ke character mein main apne aap ko dhoondhne lagi thi aur gaane ke shabdon mein apne pyaar ko.
Aur tab pehli baar ye ehsaas aur khwahish hui. ye sawal utha ke jo meri zindagi mein jo aayega vo kaisa hoga.
Abhi tak is sawal ka jawab mila bhi nahi tha ke ek doosra sawal meri saheli ne utha diya aur shayad us doosre sawal mein pehle sawal ka jawab maine khud dhoond liya.
"Tera boyfriend kahan hai? Aaya nahi ab tak?"
Ek din main khadi school ke bahar uska intezaar kar rahi thi toh meri ek dost ne kohni maar kar mujhse puchha. Jab usne use mera boyfriend kehkar bulaya toh meri hasi chhut gayi.
"Pagal hai kya? Mera koi boyfriend nahi hai. Ham dost hain" Ye mera jawab tha
"Haan haan zaroor. Banti kyun hain. Hamesha toh uske saath hi chipki rehti hai. Jab dekho usi ka haath thaame ghoomti rehti hai. Achha ek baat bata, have you guys kissed yet" Ye mera dost ka kaha jumla tha.
Aur is jumle ne jaise sab kuchh badal diya.
Aur pehli baar maine us ek alag tarah se dekha. Aankhon ne use dekha, dimag ne hazaron sawal kiye aur dil ne un sabka jawab dhoondh liya. Us din jab usne pehli baar mera haath pakda toh mere jism mein ek sihran si daud gayi. Jab vo khisak kar mera kareeb aaya aur uska jism mere jism se sat gaya toh pehli baar use dhakka dekar door karne ke bajaay main shara se simat si gayi. Jab us din dopahar ki garmi se bachne ke liye raaste mein usne mere liye ice cream kharidi aur khud apni pocket money se paise diye toh mere dil mein pehli baar uske liye ek ajeeb sa lagaav umad pada.
Aur phir agle kuchh mahino tak uski har baat ko main ek alag nazariye se dekhne lagi.
Main pehle uska intezaar karti thi par ab main uske liye bechain rehne lagi thi. Main pehle usse ladti thi par ab main usse shikayat karne lagi thi. Pehle main usse chheen leti thi par ab main usse maangne lage thi. Pehle main usse maang karti thi par ab main usse ummeed karne lagi thi.
Mujhe nahi pata tha ke vo mere liye kis tarah se mehsoos karta tha. Uske bartaav mein bhi maine kuchh badlav mehsoos kiye the par kabhi ye faisla nahi kar paayi ke kya vo mujhe ab bhi dost samajhta hai ya usse zyada. Aur agar vo kuchh mehsoos karta tha toh shayad vo bhi is uljhan ka shikar tha jiska nateeja ye hua ke ham dono ke beeche kabhi is topic ko lekar koi baat nahi hui. Ham saamne se ek doosre ke sirf dost hi rahe but deep within, he was my lover. Ishq tha mujhe usse.
Ye ishq ek tarfa tha ya vo bhi mujhe chahta tha is baat ka jawab mujhe kabhi mil nahi paya.
Par bina is sawal ke maine dil hi dil mein ek ajeeb duniya kaayam kar li thi. Mere khyaaon mein main apni poori zindagi uske saath hi bitane wali thi.
"It was destined to happen. Uske papa ka mere papa ke saath transfer, hamare ghar saath saath hona, ek hi school aur ek hi class, class mein sirf ham dono naye, itni gehri dosti, it was all destiny. He was mine from always."
Air aise hi na jaane kitne logic mein apne aapko diya karti thi. Ham ab bhi saath saath hi rehte the, saath school aate jaate, ek doosre ke ghar aate jaate aur raat ko sone se pehle ghar ke landline par chhupkar baaten par in sab mein ab ek nafasat aa gayi thi. "Tu" ki jagah "Tum" ne le li thi. Khud kuchh khaya ho ya na ho par doosre ke khaane ka khaas khyaal rehta tha aur agar na khaya ho toh zabardasti khilaya jaata tha.
Aur in sab chhoti chhoti baaton mein waqt kahan ud gaya pata hi nahi chala. Ham kabhi ek doosre se dil ki baat nahi keh paaye aur vo waqt aa gaya jab mere papa ka transfer ek doosre shehar mein ho gaya tha aur main jaanti thi ke ab mujhe usse door jana hai.
Transfer uske papa ka bhi hua tha par ek doosre shehar mein. Garmi ki chhuttiyan shuru hone wali thi aur ham dono hi ye shehar chhodkar 2 alag alag sheharon mein ja rahe the.
E-mail aur mobile phones un dino nahi hua karte the. Us waqt ek doosre ke touch mein rehne ka zariya letters aur landline phones par STD calls hi thi.
"Dekho main jaate hi apna address Sunil ko bhej doongi aur tum usko letter likh lena. Vo ham dono ke address ek naye phone numbers ek doosre ko de dega, samjhe?"
Sunil hamara class mate tha jo usi shehar ka tha aur hamesha vahin rehne wala tha.
Mujhe yaad ke us din meri 12 baje ki train thi aur main sirf usse milne ke liye apne ghar walo se ladkar us aakhri din bhi school gayi thi. Aakhri kuchh ghante uske saath guzarna chahti thi isliye use saath hi school gayi. Papa mujhe school se pick karte jahab se ham sidha railway station hi jaane wale the.
Ham dono school ke bahar hi bethe the. Vo us din periods bunk karke mere saath waqt guzaar raha tha.
"Ye kya hai?" Usne mere god mein ek rang birangi si kitaab rakhi toh maine hairan nazar se uski taraf dekhte hue puchha.
"Slam book" Usne jawab diya.
"Vo kya hota hai?" Maine sawal kiya
"Its like a journal you know, like a book that contains information on all my friends. Mere jitne bhi dost honge uki information aur vo mere baare mein kya feel karte hain vo sab. Kal hi kharidi hai. Pehle tum se hi bharva raha hoon"
Western culture ka thoda thoda prabhav un dino hamare yahan ke schools mein bhi aa raha tha aur slam book usi culture ka ek hissa thi. Aajkal toh shayad school ka bachcha bachcha slam book ke baare mein jaanta ho par un dino ye ek nayi cheez thi. Baharhal, maine apni information jaise ke naam, date of birth, favourite color, hobbies vagerah vagerah bhar di par aakhir mein ek column tha jismein mujhe ye bharna tha ke main uske baare mein kya sochti hoon. Mujhe yaad hai ke us column par maine khaas tavajjoh di thi.
AUr uske baad Papa ne railway station jaate hue mujhe school ke bahar se pick kiya aur ham sidha railway station hi chale gaye.
Par bad-kismati se meri ye prem kahani sirf itni hi rahi. Naye shehar mein pahunchte hi maine Sunil ko apna address aur phone number bhej diya par usne aisa nahi kiya. Usne Sunil ko kabhi apna naya address ya phone number nahi bheja. Bahut intezaar kiya maine ye soch kar ke shayad uske paas Sunil ki information kho gayi ho aur vo zaroor pata laga kar mujhe contact karega par aisa hua nahi.
Aur waqt ke saath dheere dheere mere uske saath dekhe saare khwab dhundhle pad gaye. Vo mera pehla pyaar tha, meri pehli aur shayad sabse gehri mohabbat.
Aur aaj 15 saal baad mujhe kismat sirf usi shehar nahi balki usi school mein ek teacher banakar le aayi thi.
Uske baad maine college poora kiya, B.ED kiya, teacher bani aur is sabke beech mere kai boyfriends bane, pyaar bhi hua par na jaane kyun main kabhi use bhool hi nahi paayi.
Shayad isi liye kehte hain ke pehla pyaar kabhi bhulaye nahi bhoolta.
Taxi se utar kar main ek baar phir usi school ke gate ki taraf badhi jahan 15 saal pehle main roz jaati thi.
Kabhi aisa waqt tha ke main is gate se uske saath rozana guzarti thi. Us waqt kabhi socha bhi nahi tha ke main ek din teacher ban kar isi gate ko phir se cross karungi.
School mein jakar maine principal ko report kiya. Jo principal mere time par yahan the vo koi aur the. Unka kya hua ye main nahi jaanti thi par jo ab kursi par maujood the vo kaafi khushnuma aur hasmukh kism ke insaan the. Unhone khud mujhe apne saath le jakar staff room dikhaya aur school ka chakkar lagvaya. Agle din se join karne ki hidayat lekar jab main vaapis gate ki taraf chali toh mere paon jaise vahin ke vahin jam gaye.
Lohe ke gate se laga vo vahan par khada tha. Aaj 15 saal baad main use dekh rahi thi.
Nahi. Ye vo nahi hai. Maine haskar apna dimag jhatka aur gate ki taraf chali. Jo mere saamne khada tha vo 14-15 saal ka ladka tha jabki vo is waqt jahan bhi hoga, 30-31 saaal ka jawab aadmi hoga aur shayad shaadi shuda bhi hoga.
Jaise jaise main gate ke nazdeek aayi, meri aankhen hairat se phelti chali gayi. Gate par khade ladke ko main hairat se dekhti reh gayi. Meri yaad 15 saal purani thi aur uske saath saath mere dimag mein uska chehra bhi dhundhla sa pad gaya tha par mere saamne khade ladkne ne jaisa har yaad ko taza kar diya tha.
Uski shakal 100% meri 15 saal purani yaad se mel khaati thi. Vahi baalon ka style, vahi kad kaathi, vahi rangat, vahi nain naksh, vahi halki ugti hui daadhi, vahi uniform pehenne ka style aur kandhe par bilkul vaisa hi laal rang ka bag. Vo ladka uski 100% copy tha.
Main uski taraf dekhti hui gate ki taraf badhti rahi. Vo bhi aaram se khada mujhe hi dekhta raha. Ham dono ki nazren ek doosre se mili aur lock hokar reh gayi. Vo aaram se khada mujhe dekhta raha aur main uske chehre par nazar jamaye school se bahar nikal gayi.
Ham shakal hote hain ye main suna tha par kya kisi ki shakal is hadh tak kisi se mel kha sakti hai? Kaun tha ye ladka? Uska koi rishtedaar? Uska beta? Nahi uska beta itna bada nahi ho sakta?
Mujhe yaad tha ke Sunil ka ghar school ke paas hi tha. Jaane kya sochkar main taxi mein bethne ke bajaay kadam uthakar Sunil ke ghar ki taraf chal padi.
Sunil kuchh waqt tak mere letters ka jawab deta tha aur mera haal chaal puchhta rehta tha par dheere dhere mera usse bhi contact toot gaya tha. Vo isi shehar ka tha par main nahi jaanti thi ke vo ab bhi isi ghar mein rehta hai ya nahi phir bhi kuchh sochti hui main uske ghar tak ja pahunchi.
Aur kismet ki baat hi thi ke vo ab bhi isi shehar aur isi ghar mein hi rehta tha. Aur to aur vo mujhe ghar ke bahar hi mil gaya aur mujhe dekhte hi pehchan bhi gaya.
"Oh my god, you still dont know?"
Andar le jakar usne meri khaasi mehmaan nawazi ki. Chaai ka daur guzar jaane ke baad jab maine uske baare mein puchha toh Sunil ke chehre ka rang badal gaya.
"I am sorry but i thot you knew. Kaafi waqt tak toh mujhe bhi nahi pata tha aur jab pata chala toh hamare letters ka silsila khatam ho gaya tha. Vo mar chuka hai, he is no more. Un dino ek kaafi bada train haadsa hua tha, remember? He was on that train. Jahan uske Daddy ka transfer hua tha vahan jaate hue us accident mein uski poori family guzar gayi thi. Mujhe bhi kaafi waqt ke baad pata chala tha"
Mere aansoon roke nahi ruk rahe the. Sunil ke ghar se nikal kar apne ghar tak ka raasta maine paidal hi poora kiya. Mujhe hosh tak nahi tha ke mere aas paas kya ho raha hai. Bas bad-hawas si apne ghar ki taraf chalti rahi. Dimag mein hazaron baaten chal rahi thi aur kai purani baaton ke jawab ab mil rahe the.
"Isliye usne kabhi mujhe contact nahi kiya. Vo toh mere jaane ke ek hafte baad hi mar gaya tha. oH God !!!"
Meri aankhen bheegi hui thi aur mere side se guzarne wale kai log mujhe hairat se dekh rahe the ke main ro kyun rahi hoon.
Par un sabse bekhabar badhawas main apne ghar ki taraf badhti ja rahi thi.
"Toh vo ladka kaun tha?" Achanak mujhe gate par khade us ladke ka khyaal aaya. Jis tarah se vo mujhe dekh raha tha aur jis tarah se uski shakal milti hai, maine decide kar liya tha ke kal school jakar sabse pehle us ladke ka pata karungi.
Mujhe pata nahi ke main kitni der chali par aakhir main apne ghar pahunchi. Lawn se hoti hui main apne ghar ke darwaze ke paas pahunchi hi thi ke zameen par padi ek cheez ne mera dhyaan apni taraf khincha.
Mere darwaze ke theek saamne ek laal rang ki kitaab rakhi hui thi. Maine use uthakar khola toh aisa laga jaise mere pairon ke neeche se zameen khisak gayi ho.
Ye uski slam book thi jo usne mujhse tab bharvayi thi jab ham aakhri baar mile the. Pehli page par meri likhi hui baaten hi aur poori slam book mein ek sirf meri hi entry thi.
"Ye yahan kaise aayi?"
Sochte hue main hairat se uske pages hi palat rahi thi ke apne pichhe hui aahat se main palti aur vo theek mere pichhe khada tha. School uniform pehne jaise vo mujhe gate ke paas dikha tha, ab bhi usi uniform mein tha.
Vo aaj bhi bilkul nahi badla tha. Bilkul vaisa hi tha.
Balki jab maine gaur se use dekha to vo bilkul vaisa tha jaisa ke main aakhri baar use chhod kar gayi thi. Jab vo aakhri baar mujhse mila tha. Aaj usko yun dekh rahi thi toh ek ek karke saari baaten yaad aa rahi thi.
Us din uski ek anguli par band-aid thi jo aaj bhi vahin maujood thi. Uske maathe ke uper right side mein ek kharonch thi jo aaj bhi thi. Uski shirt ka ek button toota hua tha jisko lekar maine use daanta bhi tha, vo button aaj bhi toota hua tha. Usne pehli baar shave karne ki koshish ki thi aur bade hi bedhange tarike se ki thi, vahi shave aaj bhi uske chehre par thi. Us din jaldi mein vo school shoes ki jagah ghar wale brown joote pehen aaya tha aur vo aaj bhi uske pairon mein the. Vahi shirt, vahi trouser, sab kuchh vahi.
Hairat se maine use uper se neeche tak dekha aur phir slam book ki taraf dekha. Usmein meri likhi hui line aaj bhi maujood thi,
"Main tumse bahut pyaar karti hoon. You are my first love and i will always love you. Tum duniya ke sabse cute ladke ho, you are the best in the world. Main nahi jaanti ke tum mujhse pyaar karte ho ya nahi, par agar karte ho toh mere liye 2 kaam karoge?
DONT EVER CHANGE AND WAIT FOR ME"
Thank you everyone for reading ....Coments for your feedbacks
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